Five Things

After a long weekend in Minneapolis and a long week involving travel for work - I'm thrilled to spend the weekend in Milwaukee with family and friends. Tonight we'll enjoy a couple's dinner at Odd Duck. Then a weekend full of toddler swimming lessons, house hunting and relaxing!

Here are Five Things that brought a smile to my face this week. 

Cheers and Happy Friday to you! 

1. Bed Head
Since day one, people have commented on Ingrid's rather large head. As you'd expect, I don't really  notice but, there are photos like these where I think, "Geez girl, that's one monsterous head." Ingrid's head, bed-head hair and love for faux food continues to grow.

2. Pickled Red Onions
Last weekend our friend made amazing tacos for a pre-Beer Dabbler meal. The tacos were wonderful, but for me, the pickled red onions stole the show. This Brie Grilled Cheese with pickled red onions is welcomed in my kitchen any day.

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3. Pictures from Daycare 
Every month the staff at Ingrid's daycare snaps candid shots of the kids around the room. They compile these monthly photos, add captions and save them for whatever reason. Then, we the child leaves the room the parents are handed a massive stack of photos, drawings and paintings from the past year.

I completely forgot about this awesome memento until a large file folder spilled out on me from Ingrid's locker. I spent the better part of the night looking through the photos.  In complete awe over her tininess, cuteness and overall babyness. I'll get real with you - I cried. Like a sap. But come on, that paint mustache? Seriously. 

4. Valentine's Day 

Last year, I had a great time planning, crafting, baking and overall celebrating the day of love. This year, I'm looking forward to making Valentine's for Ingrid's class, the grandparents. This little Valentine idea is pretty cute (and by cute I mean, I can reasonably make a dozen of these in one afternoon).

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5. Good Reads 
Currently reading and loving Gretchen Rubin's second book, Happier at Home, because we can all afford to focus on our happiness!

The Toddler Room

Ingrid will turn two (as in, years old) in a few short months.

I have stopped referring to her as whatever-month-old. Now, I inform those who question her age that, "She'll be turning two in April." Which kind of bums me out. She's still so tiny - how can she be two? How can I remember her at nine months so vividly, but 19 months feels like a blur?

A few months ago, Ingrid's favorite teacher at daycare jokingly asked when will we have another baby. She explained that many of the babies leave the Baby Room and forget the teachers. But, the toddlers (and older kids) remember the staff and greet in the hallway and gym happily. If we had another baby, Ingrid would have a reason to visit the room and hopefully remember her "first" teachers.

I had never even thought of this and my knee-jerk reaction was to respond with "Who can afford to send two kids to daycare here?" and then, "Ingrid will totally remember you guys!"

The teacher is right. She won't remember them, but we will and that's pretty important. They were so wonderful at making us feel comfortable. They were in constant communication and more importantly, Ingrid loved (loves) them all. As we drive away from school, she yells "Bye bye Chrissy! Bye bye Malena! Bye bye Tao Tao!" - and will sometimes blow air kisses (too sweet!).
 
Yesterday was Ingrid's first day in the Toddler Room at daycare.

I feel like the time is right, she's ready. Although, it's hard not to feel some emotional connection to these caregivers who have watched her go from laying to crawling to walking. Cooing to talking. From being baby to insisting on playing with babies.


I had planned on going with Dan to drop her off in her new room, but when the day came, it just didn't make sense. We never drop her off together. She would have to say good-bye to both of us. It didn't feel necessary.

After receiving a text from Dan letting me know that the drop off included a tearful good-bye a little wave of shame hit me. Realistically, I could have been there. Should I have been there? Guilt mixed with worry caused me to search for carbs that afternoon. Sadly (and thankfully) there were none available.

I rushed out of work to pick her up. Going across the hall to the new room felt foreign, but as soon as I peaked my head around the door, I saw Ingrid organizing cars (with a baby in hand, natch), and felt relieved.

She had a rough start to a wonderful day. Played with all of the new toys and fell asleep while watching the fish tank. On the car ride home, I asked her if she wanted to go back to the Toddler Room. She thought about this for a few seconds and shouted a resounding "YES!" 

Sometime transitions - like moving to a Big Girl Bed or ditching the pacifier - feel hard and leave me longing for her to stop growing. I know that we'll have ups and downs as Ingrid adjusts to the new space but, thankfully, this transition feels right.

The Day I Cried at Daycare

For the last month or so, Ingrid had had some trouble going to sleep at daycare. Her schedule had recently changed, so it felt normal. 

This week she hasn't taken a nap at daycare. As in, no naps in almost three days. 

Yesterday, I talked to the staff about some possible solutions. Talk about going to sleep, bring in a pillow and blanket from home. And by pillow I mean a gigantic, stuffed, flat pink unicorn. 

Today, I hauled in said pillow and left feeling confident that everyone had to tools to get little Ingrid to sleep. 

After work, I walked into her room and found a giggly Ingrid playing with a maraca. Checked her daily report and found out that she played outside in the garden, colored a picture, ate as much hummus as possible and didn't have a nap. 

Then, I asked the teachers about the no-nap situation and listened to the run-down. As I was listening, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes knowing that of course, they did their best to put her to sleep. She was interested in just about everything but sleep and would be a hot mess tonight.  

You know when you're talking and not being listened to? Scratch that. You know that feeling when you're not being heard? In that moment, I felt like no one was really istening and I could feel myself turning the corner into Crazyville. 

I didn't raise my voice, or get snappy - I just started to cry while vocalizing my concerns. But lets not lie - snappy or not, I cried in front of teachers, toddlers and I'm assuming a few parents. Painful. 

It wasn't really a true "cry", but more of a release-of-emotions-housed-in-frustration cry that was - well, probably a little uncomfortable to watch. 

The lead teacher stepped in and offered me words of encouragement and promised to resolve the issue. I repeated various apologies as I exited the room with mixed emotions. 

I was embarrassed. I was sniffling. And, I was somehow relieved they understood how I felt. Then again, I felt embarrassed that I couldn't communicate the importance of this issue without the tears. 

I think this goes without saying, but since no one asked, I'll tell you: I love Ingrid's daycare. It's wonderful, the ratio is unheard of, the teachers are so loving and so experienced and everyone cares about their jobs - and about Ingrid. 

But, today is the day I cried at daycare over naps. 

Not because I was tired or for some other outside reason. I cried because I felt bad for my daughter and needed a solution to this problem. A problem that is solvable.  

On the scale of Shitty Things to Happen in Life, I know this ranks about a 1.5, but I'm now the Mom Who Cried in the Butterfly Room and tonight, it's painfully awkward. 

Awkward and Awesome

Without Mad Men, Sunday nights are back to their annoyingly-awkward self.

Whomp waaaaaaa.

Let's not be a pack of Debbie Downers and even dwell on that sad fact. Or, start down the path of "What do you think about ________ in Mad Men" line of questioning (although, I did love to read her spin on all-things Mad Men and seriously, what do you think of Megan Draper?)


This weekend was full of friendship-love, baby-snuggling, running around and literal running (and swimming, more on that later). Let's start the week off right with some awkward and awesome moments, shall we?

Awesome: 

• Clarisonic - simply an amazing facial scrubber. It's worth every cent! Ok, so I have a knock-off-Groupon version, but honestly, I've used the real deal and it's wonderful. 
• Brunch and Brady Street with Dan. 
• Ingrid's budding sense of humor. 
• Brats, beer and the Brewers.  
• Snuggling with new, two-week-old baby (too cute!) Jackson  
• Proposals - During a morning run, I passed over a chalk scavenger hunt. By reading the clues, it was clear that someone was trying to get their ex-girlfriend back - or it was an elaborate and low-cost marriage proposal. As I reached the top of the hill, and noticed dude in dress pants, I assumed the latter and started on an embarrassingly long line of questioning.
  
  Turns out, he had arranged for his friend to get his girlfriend (now fiance, perhaps! hopefully!) out of bed and videotape her along the way to capture this special moment. I was bursting with excitement for this stranger and creepily wanted to turn around, catch up to her and see the proposal in action.
  
  Ok, that was a long bullet point, thanks for reading. Moving on. 

Awkward 

• Realizing that the majority of the above Awesome list could fall into the Awkward category. 
• Dan agreeing to get hot chocolate. Then spilling what I assume was the best hot chocolate ever all over the carpet. This is maybe the second time I've seen him spill anything, ever. (Awesome: he went out for another hot chocolate and it was awesome). 
• Parking tickets. Three in three weeks. That's a new pair of shoes, City of Milwaukee! Grrrrr. 
• Getting carded. Then spending about three minutes wrestling with my wallet to get my ID out.
• Ordering Dan's Father's Day gift on Father's Day. 
• Forgetting the names of Ingrid's daycare teachers (in my defense, there are roughly four Meghans). 
• Spilling coffee on myself. Then, on my keyboard. And finally, while walking upstairs (probably not the smartest move on my part, to walk up three flights of stairs with a full cup of coffee).

Awkward and Awesome Bonus: 

Ingrid likes watermelon smiles.
I'm not sure if that's a real term or not, but in this kitchen - it's smiles or nothing.
Don't you even think about giving her a watermelon cube. Ingrid turns her nose up at silly ideas like eating watermelon via cube-shape or fork. 

Ingrid has to bring a lunch to daycare. Her old hand-me-down lunch box was huge, dirty and had a 3-foot long strap that always wrapped around other lunch boxes in the daycare refrigerator. This little new lunch sack has become one of Ingrid's favorite things in like, 14 months. Bonus, it totally goes with her outfit in a subtle "not-too-matchy" kinda way.

Morning Guilt {Not the Walk-of-Shame Kind}

As I left daycare this morning, I felt the usual guilty-twinge of guilt, mixed with a mild punch-to-the-gut ache.  

Granted, Ingrid only goes to daycare two days a week, but drop-offs are still a real drag. 

After standing in the doorway for an uncomfortably long period of time, waving to Ingrid like a maniac - she grinned, and waved back. Then she grabbed a faux-food pretzel and shoved it in her mouth (mmm, plastic). Then, she gave me a head-tilt as if to say "Mom, seriously. I'm fine." 

Driving to work, my mind started to drift to the upcoming workday tasks. 

Then, it hit me. I didn't feel that bad - or even that guilty - about leaving my 10-month-old with three college girls. Why not? 

Then I started to feel guilty about not feeling guilty. 

Our daycare center is amazing. Ingrid loves it. Ingrid is the class favorite (I assume). The teacher-to-child ratio is unheard of. It's minutes from my work and blocks away from Dan's school. And, we all get to gaze out onto Lake Michigan during our commutes (oh-so-much better than I-94). 

Then again, I learn about her day on a prescriptive worksheet (ATE ALL OF PEAS AT 12:10 PM. BM AT 9:40 AM). I don't have a contact, control, or even a good idea as to her general well-being from 8:15-5:30 Monday through Friday. And she's the most important person in my life. 

But then, when husband sent this text message today: 

Hooray for chains! 

The rest of the day seemed to go a little bit easier. 

Whether she's at daycare or at home with Dan or I - she's happy. 

Dan's in school, running his own business and watching Ingrid. 

Like it or not, I'm working. 

Guilty as charged, I like work. 

Some mornings it feels great to leave the house and be mentally challenged. 

Some mornings, I wish I could run back into the Caterpillar room (after putting on the blue protective booties, unlocking the never-ending series of swinging doors and washing my hands). Then, I would scoop Ingrid up, and we would snuggle and play all day. Without any fussiness or nap-time whining. Or, with a ton of fussiness and whining. Ingrid wins over email any day. 

The daycare saga is a see-saw of conflicting emotions and rationals. Doing what's best, against doing what needs to be done. Reality of the situation (see) verses what I want (saw). Thrilled about work while missing Ingrid. 

I'm forever thankful that I was able to spend five wonderful months at home with Ingrid, from day one to week 18. 

It's been wonderful to watch Dan become an amazing stay-at-home, work-at-home, student, (and above all) dad. 

I could go on and on about the wonderfulness that is Ingrid's daycare. 

But sometimes, I just want to override my guilty feelings about the decision to work full-time and be with Ingrid.  

Daycare.

Tonight's a big night guys - we're meeting Ms. Chrissy and getting a tour of the ever-so-popular Caterpillar Room at Ingrid's new "school/daycare." I still remember that fateful day when I received the call that we indeed did "get in" to our number one daycare choice. What a weight off of our shoulders. Here's how it went down:

During my pregnancy, we toured one daycare, fell in love and stopped searching because A: I didn't have a job. B: We loved this particular center. Easy right? Not so fast Go-Go-Gadget.

Ingrid was about six weeks old when I learned that our number one choice was EVERYONE'S number one choice and our odds of getting in were slim-to-none. The rejection confirmed that we indeed, didn't get in. Oh well, I was unemployed.

Then I got a job offer. Fuck. Now what? When does she need to go? What can we afford? When is Dan going to work? Ahhh! We were manics. Hitting up every reputable daycare in the Oak Creek/St. Francis area Anything central to downtown was bat-shit expensive. Dan hit his breaking point when he toured four centers in three hours. This one didn't have the flexibility we need, this one was 20 miles away, this one just wanted a deposit, this one had a year long waiting list and this one had three kids in a corner crying with a TV blasting away. This one didn't feel right.

With a little persistence, I worked with our number one choice daycare to come up with a schedule that worked for Dan, Ingrid and myself and now - phew - SHE'S IN! Great ratio, great reputation, flexible, affordable. Check, check, check - love it!

Now the anticipation mounts. Will we like these teachers? Will Ingrid be happy? Be safe? Have fun? Be stimulated? Will I be a hot mess dropping her off next week? Will I cry at work (dreading that one).

I know that sending her to daycare part-time is the best decision for our family, right now. I'm curious to know how we'll all feel knowing that someone other than a close family member or friend is watching her - she'll be in good hands, just not ours for a few hours a week.