the magic number: 21 Months

Some months it feels like Ingrid morphs into a new, older person in just a few short weeks. Other months, there really isn't anything new to report except that we went to the park and made cookies.

This month's "big news" - Ingrid has given up her pacifier.

A few months ago, Ingrid turned a small, but significant corner with her pacifier. She always used it during naps and bedtime - but she started to grow more attached outside of her bedroom. She would ask for it in the car, during long walks and tried to use it with her babies (and would then sneak little sucks while we weren't looking - like some sort of creepy addict). The pacifier was starting to become more of a "want" than a "need."

Dan and I tossed around the idea of weaning her off of the pacifier this winter, but we really didn't have a plan. Then on Wednesday I send Dan this text: How was the zoo?

Dan: It was good and fast. Just read her to sleep without a nuk.

I was thrilled but wanted the full story. I later learned that they threw it in the trash can and it really wasn't that big of a deal. Two minutes of crying and she was fast asleep.

That night I started to tear up as I was reading to Ingrid in bed. She was thrashing around, mumbling something about her nuk. In general - she was uncomfortable and searching for the one thing that brought her comfort, every single day, since day one. I wanted to give in, I wanted Dan to stay in the room with me. I just wanted her to be little for a little bit longer.

She cried for two minutes and went to sleep. This has been the scenario since Wednesday and I feel pretty conflicted. It was obviously the right time but she'll randomly bring up the subject of her pacifier: while reading stories, looking at pictures of babies, playing with babies (babies are pretty hot right now with Ingrid). When she points to a picture of a baby, looks up and declares "No nuk!" I know it might sound silly, but I think she's in the grieving stage of her pacifier and I just feel a little shitty. She can't be this old yet!

But she is. She's old enough to understand that babies need pacifiers and sadly, she's no longer a baby.

Ok, enough pacifier talk for today. Here's a little glimpse into our lives today: