Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Favorite Moments During the First Week of Motherhood: Welcoming Number Two

Last night, I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians (stay with me here...) and Kris Jenner said something like "Having one is like having one, two is like having twenty." 

I often marvel at families with more than one child. How do they get out of the house? Just thinking of the nap coordination, multiple diapers and snacks is nuts. That mom (and dad) is a superstar.

Sheepishly, I always wondered about loving two children. It might sound dumb, but it's hard to imagine there is enough room in my heart to love another child. This story helped to remind me that of course we have enough love to give because, we are superstars:

To say that the birth of my first child was a surprise is a bit of an understatement. My unique situation of having little time to prepare and adjust to the idea of having a baby, combined with the fact that the magical day was over three years ago, leaves me with a foggy memory of the experience. I know that I was terrified. I know that I was emotional. I am positive he was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. And I clearly remember feeling a love that I had never in my life felt, or thought possible. The weeks that followed that day were full of tears, confusion and challenges. They were also filled with a new purpose and meaning to my life that brought me happiness I never thought possible.

Eight months ago, I gave birth to my second child. Her arrival was planned, awaited and calm. I was not scared. I was not worried. And even though I knew how special the day would be, she still took my breath away the moment I met her. This time I knew how quickly those first few weeks pass, so I made an effort to enjoy each and every day. I reveled in the awe of how different her personality was from her brother’s, and could not get over how alike they looked. Yes I was exhausted. Yes I would cry for no reason at the drop of a hat, but I was able to look at my son and remind myself that it was all temporary. I would sleep again. I would lose the weight (well, most of it), and I would rejoin society at some point. I also knew that the challenges would be different, if not more difficult, in the coming years.

So to answer your question- what was my favorite moment during the first week of motherhood? 1.) The experience of immediate, unconditional love. The kind of love I had read or heard about, but didn’t believe existed. And 2.) The instinctive strength and patience that apparently lived inside of the selfish being I had been for 26 years.

Both of these things still amaze me every single day.

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