Validation, Termination and a Pity Party.

I'm anxiously waiting to hear back from a job prospect. I had two stellar interviews and one awkward  phone conversation with this company and now, I wait. I'm one of two people being considered - so, just kill me now. Based on past experiences with interviews, "final sale" items in my size and bridal shower raffles, I truly am one of those people that "doesn't win anything." I didn't even get my first job through the interview process - I was a temp at an office and just kept asking for more work to do. Assuming the worst, I started applying for jobs...again - but now, I can smell hints of desperation in my emails and cover letters.

Before, when I was "still working" or "on my maternity leave" I would apply for jobs as they popped up and really didn't give them much thought (until I read those generic rejection emails - the worst!) - but I really think this opportunity and company is a good fit. 

Enough of this negative talk - let's move on to the "whoa is me" portion, shall we? 

Before leaving for our High Cliff camping trip, I received a thick envelope from my former company explaining whatever it is they need to explain regarding my termination. Termination. As I glanced at the paperwork that word stuck out like a 28-year-old-mom at Forever 21 (I just needed a pair of earrings-OK!). Termination. That word is so ugly and so final. I went from being "on my maternity leave" to unemployed (no quotes) in a day. Ouch. I know, I know, I've known for months - what's the big deal? Reading that word, and seeing it in black and white was emotional. 

I also made the mistake of sharing this interview "news" with too many people - now, I'll have to share the outcome with them at some point. I hope it's in a celebratory "I got the job!" text form and not in a long-winded, face-to-face explanation with minimal eye-contact. Let's just say if I don't get it - you'll know by omission of details. I know that the "right opportunity" will come along and as they say, "everything will work out." But some times, you just don't want to be patient, you can't see anything beyond what's in front of you - and you just want this, damn it. 

How should I stop my rampant bitching? Consistent yoga practice - and a drink - coming right up! 

Oh yes, and send me your positive thoughts!