Never Will I Ever Drive a Mini-Van.

Last year I saw this book while shopping at Target and knew that one day, I'd be repeating that phrase - in horror - to myself. Working at a YMCA's after-school care and 4K room gave me much needed extra income during college and also provided me with insight into why some kids are consistently bratty while other kids were such a joy. What's the difference between "bratty kids" and "why-don't-we-have-a-room-full-of-Jack" kids? Today, I believe that parents make all of the difference.

I don't have kids yet and I'll probably be eating my words, but I can remember wanting to pull my hair out, as parents tried to explain, reason and make excuses for their kid's consistent rude behavior - while other parents would listen to the adult in the room, and then talk to their children about consequences and appropriate behavior. Magically, these kids would be a real charmers the next day while Ms. Bratty McBratterton was bratty as usual. 

Please note - I know nothing about babies. Babies freak me out. A four-year-old? A four-year-old I can somewhat handle and understand, but if you don't know how to talk or velcro your own shoes, we're in trouble. I know, I know, I'll figure it with my baby. But as I think about motherhood, I alway skip to toddler/almost school-aged years because that's what I somewhat know - for now. 

As I think about the kind of mother I'd like to become, I have some really harsh opinions (really, me? opinionated?), but overall when it comes to parenthood - I'd like to do my best to not to screw up this person's life, stay sane and happily married.

As for you, little nugget Atkinson, I promise to: 

• Parent as a team.
• Teach you to respect adults. 
• Invoke a healthy fear in you when you disrespect adults. 
• Feed you real food. 
• Let you be a kid. 
• Give you hand-me-downs.   
• Give you 100% of my attention. 
• Be myself - and not morph into what I think a mom should be. 
• Listen to you. 
• Spend quality time with our friends and family (you get four sets of grandparents!). 
• Never drive a mini-van.
• Help you understand that the world doesn't revolve around you. 
• Introduce you to the joys of camping, reading, puppies and cooking. 
• Teach you the value of a dollar.
• Not let TV be your primary source of entertainment. 
• Listen to kid music - as you listen to real music, Mom and Dad's music.  
• Teach you the value of education.
• Foster your interests and talents. 
• Never, ever, own a bag with "Owen/Ingrid's Mom" embroidered on the side. My name is Lindsay. 
• Give you the tools and information to form your own opinions but, if you choose to be a right-wing-Glenn-Beck-worshiping-Republican, I'll kindly explain that you're choosing wrong.    
• To think I'm a cool mom, but never be "the" cool mom (you can't drink in my basement when you're 15).  
• Be the best mother I can be.