Set a date?
Choose a venue? Pick your bridesmaids?
Go on a honeymoon?
Get a house?
Have a baby?
Find out the sex of the baby?
Have another baby?
With the engagement news of one of my best friends, I started thinking of all of the exciting things that will soon unfold for them. I'm grinning like an idiot - by myself - and already can't wait to celebrate their union.
When people tell you to "enjoy your engagement " - they mean it. Although our engagement was incredibly brief. We really did enjoy it. Our friends threw us an amazing engagement party and we just ran around Milwaukee - sublimely happy (little did we know, I was 6 weeks pregnant).
I started thinking of the unnecessary questions they will soon receive. From the age of 18 until you, I don't know, stop having kids - with every milestone - people can't wait to ask you one of the questions from the list above, listen for about .2 seconds, nod, and then launch into their own story of engagement, wedding planning, marriage, pregnancy, childbirth - you get my drift.
I crave advice from all sources and love listening to these stories to pick up tips and learn more about their journeys - but perhaps because my engagement, wedding and pregnancy were crammed into one season, I had an abundance of advice coming at me from ALL directions.
It took me awhile to learn that some people have your best interest in mind and truly WANT to hear about your story. These people listen to your every word, understand that every couple has their vision and they offer you advise without judgment.
But, "the others" leave you with a sour taste in your mouth. You walk away from the conversation thinking - "Who are you? Seriously, I wanted to have a relaxing dinner, not be scolded for ordering a cup of decaf!?" These energy-suckers have your best interest at heart - but for some reason they suck at life.
To avoid feeling overwhelmed and judged and to embrace encouragement and support of friends, family and complete strangers - I have started to listen to the tone of "the question", the source of "the question" and respond appropriately. Then I'll "get that dirt off my shoulder" or feel fortunate to have a network of people that truly give a shit about our life.
My friends, the newly engaged couple, are best friends, they radiate love and happiness - and they suck the nectar out of life! I not only wish them the best - but every happiness life can offer!
|Patty's Pub - Engagement Party, August 21, 2010. |
Cheesy? Yes. Do we care? No. We're floating on a cloud of engagement-happiness!