Over the weekend I stumbled upon an old journal on the bookshelf. This wasn't really a journal so much as it was a random notebook of to-do lists, recipes, quotes and little project ideas. There were menus for baby showers and bachelorette party ideas.
A hard-copy Pinterest, if you will.
I read the following to-do list and was embarrassed, annoyed and impressed that in my not-so distant past, this was a snapshot my life.
On Saturday, March 7 and Sunday, March 8, 2009 (or 2010):
- Shower (as any good list maker knows, add your must-dos so you have more things to check off)
- Exfoliate with scrub (oh, a scrub made with coffee grounds and peppermint oil. See, annoying.)
- Laundry finish (grammar schmammer)
- Clean - kitchen, bathroom, living, dining, dust and vacuum (highly doubt I honestly cleaned half of that lofty list)
- Whiten teeth
- Organize Closets - color code. Start donation pile/bags (don't forget about the dresser!)
- Pay bills
- Tone @ home (like, do push-ups)
- Do nails
- Make veggie soup
- Track food eaten
- Organize blue room
- Read & Relax (after that stressful day, I guess I earned it!)
- Outlets with Serena
I literally laughed out loud when I read this and though, "Oh fuck off." First, did I really need to "read and relax" after shopping, tanning, working out and whitening my teeth? Annoying. Second, I won't lie - minus the tanning and cleaning, this sounds like a nice little weekend. Third, it's just funny. Funny in a painfully embarrassing way.
Now, I could go on about how I:
a). Miss this care-free time in my life.
b.) Feel blessed for having Ingrid as she gives me more joy than "track food eaten"
but I've always been a "when in doubt, choose C" kinda gal.
c.) During the course of a few years, shit changed.
And isn't that OK?
Today, I read an article about motherhood and change. When "change and motherhood" are linked together, it's typically on the freedoms we "gave up" and the things that are "missed."
On the path to self-improvement, why do we embrace changes as they relate to careers, marriages and relocation, but when it comes to parenthood we white-knuckle it in a lame attempt to stay true to "who we are."? Why resist the idea of change when it comes to motherhood?
With Ingrid, Dan and I both had our internal spark ignited. It was time to save, explore our passions and figure out what kind of a person we wanted to raise. It was time to get our shit together.
When you get your shit together, things change. It's not better, it's not worse, it just is.
Ok, it can be worse, if that change results in wearing mom jeans.