Confession, I'm a hoarder. An information hoarder.
When I develop a new interest I tend to gather information to a fault. Cooking, sewing, yoga - you name it. Example - Dan gave me a sewing machine last year for my birthday and I have only created three items in over a year. I was too bogged down with checking out books from the library and scouring the internet for inspirational blogs to actually...sew. Information gathering, to a fault, at it's finest.
Around Ingrid's 10th week, I started receiving emails with tips on going back to work. This was yet another painful reminder that I was unemployed. But, I happily deleted these emails and thought about how lucky I was to hang with Ingrid (and stay in elastic-waist pants all day long).
I'm pretty sure that Ingrid is now 18 weeks old (it's getting hard to keep track...) and with my start-date looming, I decided to hop online and search for "nuggets of wisdom" from other healthy, balanced, normal, quirky, fun, working (out-of-the-home) moms (if there isn't such a thing...).
After ten minutes I wanted to throw my laptop out the window. Based on what I read, I prepared for the worst. I should just buy stock in Kleenex, because apparently I'll be sobbing the day away. Then at night, I'll be frantically running around the house trying to find clothes that fit. How appealing. Why am I doing this again? Oh yeah, to put food on the table and pay bills.
Then, I came across this wisdom-nugget. The skies parted and there was hope of normalcy in my life. I found this on Real Simple's website:
Stop thinking of yourself as split into separate but equal roles: mother, worker, me.
Listen to philosopher John Locke, who said that a person recognizes himself as the same being throughout his life, in different times and places. You are one person, indivisible, who just happens to wear many hats. And while I get that the weight of all those hats can wear you down, at least be happy you’ve got something important to do.
Exactly, I have something important to do. Be a good mom. Be good at work. Have fun. And be a good role-model to Ingrid. And have time to work out, read and be normal. Easy, right?