Gift Guide for Dads who are Artists.

Shopping for my husband has always been a challenge. He doesn't want "stuff" so concert tickets and a replacement to-go coffee mug have always been my go-tos. When I stumbled up on the site Kindling Quarterly, I knew an annual subscription would be the perfect present. Here's what the magazine is all about:

Kindling Quarterly is an exploration of fatherhood. Through essays, interviews, editorials, art, and photography we highlights creative individuals whose work and lives are inseparable from their role as a parent...Men who are active caregivers are not a novelty and we do not depict them as such. 

My husband is a stay-at-home-work-at-home dad. His life, passion and profession blend together and this publication celebrates this in a sincere, realistic and humbling way. Highly recommended for anyone with a creative significant other.

The Dad slash artist in your life might also like:

• For those who love the great outdoors -  cologne distilled from plants, moss and mushrooms.
• A book to help breakthrough those creative blocks.
• When in doubt, Paddle Your Own Canoe. 

Happy gifting and giving! 

You Are My I love You

You are my I love you

I am your parent you are my child

I am your quiet place, you are my wild

I am your calm face, you are my giggle

I am your wait, you are my wiggle

I am your audience, you are my clown

I am your London Bridge, you are my falling down

I am your carrot sticks, you are my licorice

I am your dandelion, you are my first wish

I am your water wings, you are my deep

I am your open arms, you are my running leap

I am your way home, you are my new path

I am your dry towel, you are my wet bath

I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake

I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake

I am your finish line, you are my race

I am your praying hands, you are my saving grace

I am your favorite book, you are my new lines

I am your nightlight, you are my sunshine

I am your lullaby, you are my peek-a-boo

I am your kiss goodnight, you are my I love you

Waiting for Birdy: Favorite Lines

Last weekend we took a much needed road trip to Minnesota to see family and friends. With the car packed up the night before, we left on time, but not fully caffeinated. Ingrid was out cold until her seat belt straps tightened. She then opened her eyes and proclaimed "We're going to Minnesota! I so excited!" 

The car ride was unlike any I'd ever experienced with her. By that, I mean it was pleasant. Ingrid read, colored, requested movies and snacks. We've entered another stage of parenthood. A stage? No. She's growing up.

Although the car ride was nice, I found myself wishing for more. Daydreaming about the day when she'll let us know she needs to use the bathroom. It takes a present mind to remember this parenting classic: don't wish it away. 

It's an easy thing to do, really. To wish away the teething pains, the tummy time grunts, the constant feeding, swaddling, diaper bag packing, bottle washing and toy wrangling. To pine over the next stage of development. To wish for a start and an end.

After dreaming of what's to come, I remembered one of my favorite reads this year, Waiting for Birdy by Catherine Newman. 

I reread the highlighted sections and felt inspired to share a few. The book is about the author's family awaiting their second child. Although I'm content with one, I nodded along while reading. Now, I'm not a fan of articles, books, quotes or eCards that paint motherhood to be this magical, secret society where kids are insane, amazing and no one has time to shower. I preface this because some of my favorite lines are flowery and moving. Balance these sentiments with honesty and that's why I loved every page:

"There is the love that balloons so enormous and breathtaking that it lifts you up, past sleep, into some other kind of place, where joy is immeasurable, and fear is everywhere. Where "bittersweet" is always the flavor of the day."

"Speaking in earnest proverbs is new to me since becoming a parent. But now, every day, some or other cliche pops into my head as if it were an original thought." 

"But when I looked into that serene little face, the world stopped and started, and I became, in an instant and forever, a mother." 

"Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others with their masks." 

"There is no way to understand the joyful desperation of parenthood until it is already upon you, like a flash flood." 

"Sometimes, when I go to put the kids to bed, I breathe a sigh of relief after they fall asleep, like 'Thank God that's over with!'...'Don't wish your life away', my mom used to say when we were impatient as kids. I'm sincerely trying not to.

That oxygen mask line has proven to be my motherhood mantra.

This book armed me with more tips than some of the "recommended" reads for moms with toddlers. 

What books - not necessarily on the topic of motherhood - have stuck with you? 

Cominatacha

One of my blogger pet peeves is when people apologize for taking time off from blogging. So, rather than bore you with a long-winded apology, I'll just say that summer and blogging didn't really work for me.

I read this post about a blog lifespan and considered ignoring this space entirely.

Then, Ingrid would reach a milestone and I wanted to blog about it. We went kayaking as a family for about four minutes and I wanted to blog about it. But I wouldn't take the time to put my thoughts down. Not anymore my friends. After three long months I now have a couch and somewhat of a routine. That means more posts like these are cominatcha soon:

• The Very Merriest of Mother's Days
• Two
• New Mom Care Package
• Five Things

Soon means soon. In the meantime, here's a little glimpse of the summer:

That's it for now. Baby steps my friends. Baby steps.

Take Me Out To the Ballgame

Happy First Day of Summer (and Memorial Day, Move-in Day, First Day of Internet Access - followed by 18 days of no internet access, Last Day of Daycare, Father's Day, First Day of New Daycare)!

During this move/settling-in phase, I took an unintentional break from this space I call BLOG. Fueled by lack of internet (bye-bye Time Warner!) and the blog-break continued during this short stint of warm weather.

One of my blogger pet-peeves is when writers apologize to readers due to their lack of posts. I won't say I'm sorry but will say that I'm happy to be back. Happy to have internet again (AT&T Uverse 4EVA), happy to be settling into our first home and happy to explore our new neck of the Milwaukee-woods (aka, Wauwatosa).

A Disclaimer for the Video Below:
Ingrid attended her first Brewer game on Memorial Day. She developed an innocent but serious crush on Bernie Brewer. For those of  you who aren't on a first-name basis with our beloved mascot, let me fill you in on the details:

Bernie Brewer's profession is a beer brewer. When I was a kid, Bernie would literally slide into a mug of beer for every Brewer home run. When Miller Park was built, Bernie's house and the infamous mug moved to Lakefront Brewery. Bernie's nostalgic house was replaced with a lifeless shed and he now slides down a yellow slide and cheers as fireworks sparkle above his head.

Needless to say that Ingrid went bananas over Bernie, the fireworks, cotton candy and this song:






Next year, I'm hoping she finds joy in the Sausage Race because this year, her number one concern was "Where'd Ernie go?!?"

Happy Friday!

Five Things

Yesterday I made a good-bad decision. What's a good-bad decision? An example: online shopping for hours and then Xing out of your browser. Sure, it was fun but now it's 11pm and you didn't even get that clearance button-down. My most recent good-bad decision was to go on a mini-cleanse before Memorial Day weekend. The first weekend of summer. A weekend full of BBQs, parades, kite festivals and baseball games: all of these things involve toasting adult beverages.

I'll start this cleanse on Tuesday. Yep. Tuesday. I feel better already.

Here are five things that made the week sweet:

1. Summer Preparation: 
Summer is on the horizon and it's full of possibilities! Camping, sunshine, festivals, sandals! I love mapping out our summer plans and hope to "schedule" a few in Milwaukee. It's the most wonderful time of the year here in the good ol' Midwest.

If I ever have the patience to create these cupcakes, you're invited to come over:

photo

2. Speaking of Smoothies... 
I've been a fan of this Green Mango one:

• 2 cups spinach 
• 2 cups water 
• 1 cup frozen mango 
• 3/4 cup plain yogurt 
• A little sprinkle of chia seed 

3. Books. 

Since we have a bizarre amount of time to kill during our brief stay in the furnished apartment, I've read a few books. I've tried to read The Great Gatsby but found that light-hearted books like: Waiting for Birdy, one by Heather McDonald (surprisingly we have really similar parenting styles) and another by Ross Matthews (surprisingly delightful read).

4. Spring Roll in a Bowl 
So pretty to make and so simple! I found the noodles near the tofu in my grocery store's produce department and was delighted to discover that they rang in 20 calories per serving. Score. 

photo 

5. Chicken & Waffles 

Ingrid's going through a growth spurt. No matter what she eats during the day, she's ravenous in the middle of the night. She woke up in a haze and question-yelled "I have. I have. I have chicken? And...waffles?" I couldn't deny her request - we had both on-hand: 

Man, I love her. 

Happy Food-Related Post Friday (I guess)! Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

I blog because...

Why keep writing? Inspired by my mom's pregnancy journal, I started throwing my thoughts in this space during my pregnancy. Why keep it up? It's not laser-focused on parenting, motherhood or anything, really.

When I started my blog I followed a small group of bloggers who wrote about fashion and they were most likely Mormon (what can I say, they are nice and know how to dress). I wanted to contribute to the larger community writing about a subject I was learning. While in the newborn, new parenting trenches, it was wonderful to read other stories of moms experiencing exactly what I was experiencing - to the week. Reading these stories early in the morning (along with coffee) fueled my morning. My struggles are my own but I wasn't on my own (cliche alert!).

I blog because I can highlight life's mundane moments. Celebrate the magic that surrounds us every single day:

Bartering and counting wood chips. 

Filled with joy and fear.

She made it. Static and all. 

Apartment Woes

This transitional period, this month of waiting around in an odd furnished apartment, has been unsettling. I was going to type rough but, we're not exactly slumming it.

The shelves are stocked with well organized Tupperware and the TV is huge. So huge, I longer wear glasses while viewing. Game-changer! Other Apartment Pros include: 

• Three recliners. One stand-alone and two flanking each side of the couch. 
• Walk-in closet 
• Found $20 in the parking lot
• Proximity to the Milwaukee County Zoo and work 
• Dishwasher 
• Really good water pressure 
• An actual bed - as opposed to a bed frame. 

As I'm reading through this list, it's painfully clear that we weren't "living large" in our little lovely Bay View apartment. Here are a few Apartment Cons - or to be dramatic - Apartment Woes: 

• It's way too quiet. You might be asking yourself: "Lindsay, shouldn't this be included in the Pro list?" No Mom, it shouldn't be. There are literally dozens of people living here and apparently they never make any noise. No one ever leaves for work in the morning, comes home late or let's out a congratulatory "Wahoo!" while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County (Two words: chin implants. Anyone?) 
• Make-shift office in the kitchen. 
• No yard
• Spare mattress is propped up against the wall 
• Coin laundry
• Our bathtub was clogged for about three days. I finally was forced to shower while standing on a milk crate. Somehow I felt like I was in Water with Elephants. No, not because I felt like an elephant but, because it reminded me of what might happen on a cross-county, circus-like train trip. 
• Weird kitchen utensils. Ingrid's play-kitchen spoons work better. Honestly. 

But as great as the water pressure is (and it's almost perfect) - this place is not ours. It's a runner-up to a contest I didn't even know was happening. A few blocks from here, the real winner, our new house, awaits. Teasing us with its breakfast nook, staircase and guest bedroom. I've been limiting my posts on this lil' ol' blog because I don't want to jinx the upcoming closing or complain about a temporary situation. But, it's my blog and I'll bitch if I want to! 

Here's hoping for more positive, peaceful and productive thoughts tomorrow. 

A Little Video: Trip to the Zoo

Waiting for the train to leave the station. Ingrid was so excited she started to look worried.

Mark my words, one of these days I will hold my phone correctly/the other way. 

Happy Wednesday!

The Very Merriest Mother's Day

Out of my three Mother's Days, this one was the sweetest. Ingrid woke up wanting to read a book which was a welcomed change from the typical yogurt request (I have shugurt?). 

We called Grandma. Fixed the clog in the bathtub. Went to the zoo. Laughed really hard at otters. Rode the train. Laughed hard when reminiscing about the otters (apparently, they are hilarious). Sipped on Thai iced coffees (what do they put in those delicious things?) Took a three hour nap (Ingrid). Watched way too many episodes of Sex and the City (Me). Went to the park. And now, she's in bed a half hour early. 

We had a 30 minute window where the wheels started to come off. I wanted to pull a Zach Morris. To motion my hands in a sharp "T" shape and declare "Timeout!" 

Timeout: What happened to the bubbly, cheery dog and toddler? No, you can't have a sucker before dinner or ever because we don't have any. Please stop chasing after distant leaves your old eyes mistake for bunnies. Seriously, we don't have any suckers. 

Then, Ingrid started to sing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" and asked to dance. Of course we can dance, lovely little lady. Right after my heart stops aching from sweetness overload. 

It was the very merriest Mother's Day (wording ripped from a weird Mad Hatter story). 

Happy Mother's Day!

Five Things

Happy Friday! This weekend we're down one Atkinson. With just Ingrid, Harper and I, the weekend is trending pretty girly: a Scentsy party, outlet mall stop and if the weather is right, a Mother's Day trip to the zoo. Here are five things that made the week pretty sweet:


Ingrid and I popped some tags last weekend at the University School of Milwaukee's Rummage on the Rink. That rummage sale is no joke - there were maps and directional cones involved. Ingrid literally rummaged through a pile of stuffed animals to find her prized princess pillow. I was thrilled that these books turned out to be pretty great - I was drawn to them for the illustrations.

Cooking in this little kitchen stinks. Now, when we move to our new place, the kitchen won't be much bigger but, it will be brighter, roomier and ours. Baking is manageable. Baking fish feels springy. This Salmon with Sriracha Sauce and Lime feels just about right - even in this teeny kitchen. I bet you three dollars you have all of the sauce ingredients in your pantry/fridge.

These transitional seasons are always rough for me, wardrobe wise. Currently I'm searching for the perfect: mint cross-body bag, chambray shirt dress, work/play appropriate skirts, little knot studs and work shirts that aren't stuffy. I wish this ampersand sweatshirt was somehow justifiable because, it's just so cute:

Like everyone else, I'm reading The Great Gatsby and anticipating the movie. This is my favorite quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald. By favorite I mean, it was pinned to my Words board two months ago because it looks and sounds fancy.

Ingrid went on a big swing for the first time. She was cautious, curious and mimicked the little girl next to her. She would faux pump her legs and make the tiniest micro movements. It's hard to imagine that just a year ago she was taking wobbly steps.

Happy Mother's Day! Enjoy the sunshine and thank your moms.

First Haircut

Today, after almost 25 months, Ingrid had her first haircut.

On the way to the kid's "salon" she informed me that she "didn't like haircuts" and wanted to go home to watch a movie. Like all parents of toddlers, explaining things like haircuts, moving, patience, nighttime, ants and orange peels requires some creative thinking. For example:

Why are we not living in the house in Tosa? It's not ready yet.
Why can't we pick up ants? They like to stick together as a family, in the sand.
Why do we need hair cuts? Because that's what big girls do.

Hair cut explanation fail.

I dreaded the experience mainly because Ingrid didn't have a jacket when I picked her up from daycare. It was 50 degrees, rainy and she was dressed in a tank top, striped pants and striped shoes (read: ragamuffin). I'm not proud of the next move: I wrapped her up in (clean) yoga pants and booked it into the salon (wait, "salon").

A reluctant Ingrid instantly fell in love with every mirror, toy, sticker and smock in the joint. The staff had toddler haircuts down to a science: pop in a movie, cover them in a butterfly cape, add some sparkly hairspray and finish it off with gifts. Gifts like stickers and a pom-pom hair clip.

Toy Story 2 and butterflies? Guess I'll zone out. 

As we were leaving I asked her if she liked getting her hair cut. She responded with "Yeah. See ya next week!" I wrapped her awkwardly in a warm bundle of yoga pants, I thought well, this went better and somehow worse than I expected - like a lot of moments in parenthood. These parenthood cliches keep creeping up and I always mistake them for original thoughts.

Lesson learned: always keep a pair of emergency yoga pants in case you're caught in the rain.

After Listen to Your Mother

I'm envious of writers who can churn out personal stories immediately following an event, experience or weekend. I need time to filter my thoughts and figure out where I really stand. This weekend's Listen to Your Mother event was no exception.

As we stood on the stage and waited patiently to take our bow, I could feel the nerves coming to a halt. Finally! Turns out they had been lingering since audition day. I kept telling myself it was just something silly - just sharing a little story - one that I've shared with you on this teeny blog. It isn't silly - it's my personal story. It's a big deal to write a personal story. To write that story and share it with friends, family and a bunch of strangers.

The show felt like a blur but I thought that after reading my piece, I could sit back, relax and listen to the other mothers. Instead, I was on the edge of my seat, crying (no surprise) and nervously cheered on my cast mates. I wanted them to shine - and they did.

After the event a woman came up to me and said "I have a story like yours. My baby wasn't planned." She had tears in her eyes. Then I started tearing up and neither one of us knew what to say. She said she just wanted me to know. I thanked her and held back tears.

At the after party, I rambled to our producers about the experience. I thought I did better than expected (I was always really nervous during rehearsals) and one producer chimed in with "It's a really big deal."

I wouldn't have believed her that morning but after reading my piece, I nodded along in agreement. It was a big deal. Listen to Your Mother claims to give Mother's Day a microphone. For me, it did so much more. It shook something loose that I didn't even know was stuck. I feel my story had momentum, closure, validity, a community and a voice.

I can't wait to hear the 2014 Listen to Your Mother show. Hopefully, being in the audience will mean that I won't be a hot mess but judging by the emotion of this year's show, that's pretty unlikely.

Unplanned Plan

My major? I liked business classes so, advertising seemed like a natural fit. What should I get for lunch? Let’s wait and see what the table’s ordering before deciding. Do I want to have kids? Yes. Without a doubt, yes.

Like everyone - I weighed my options when it came to any decision – big or insignificant – but I always knew that someday, some day in the far, distant future, I would be a mom.

I’m not what you would call maternal but I always knew that after years of being someone’s daughter, sister, granddaughter, friend, fiance and wife, I’d eventually earn the name – Mom.

I didn't plan on having the titles fiance, wife and mom all within 10 months.

After nearly a decade of dating, after awkwardly stumbling to answer the favorite family-gathering question “So, when do you two think you’ll get married…?” My boyfriend proposed. My fiancé and I started planning our wedding and our future. And eight weeks later, I went from wedding planning to planning for motherhood.

We moved up our wedding date. Our friends and families were happy for this accelerated union. Our parents were thrilled to hear the news of their first grand-baby. And they were all pleasantly surprised with our backyard shabby chic wedding that felt more chic, than shabby.

I kept waiting for feelings of sadness. To mourn the big white dress that would never be, the extensive
wedding planning, multiple showers, and bachelorette party - but it never happened. I never mourned my planned wedding because our unplanned wedding felt authentic, simple and appropriate.

If I could have waved a magic wand and not have been pregnant at my wedding, would I? Yes. I drank a Capri Sun at one point in the evening. So, there was a little “shabby” to compliment the chic. But it felt right because it was ours.

A few months after our wedding, and a few months before our baby arrived, my employer of five years moved all of their operations to Birmingham.

At that moment it felt like I was being punished for my lack of planning. It felt like the last piece of some fragile puzzle had been lost. And as frantically as I searched for the pieces I couldn't put the puzzle back together. I couldn't make sense of the situation. I threw myself a good ol’ fashioned pity party. A pregnancy pity party! Complete with Sour Patch Kids and probably a grilled cheese.

At my former-job, we helped our sales consultants write 30 second commercials, elevator pitches if you will, to explain their business.

During my engagement-pregnancy-wedding-unemployment period, I developed my own "30 second commercial.” And then, expanded it. Everyone heard a one thousand, nine hundred and nine second speech about my relationship, our engagement story, unexpected baby and – the icing on the cake – unemployment.
I apologized for my lack of planning. I spewed facts and dates at you - letting you know that our relationship - and this baby - were completely legitimate, despite our recent marital status. Because, we've been together forever, we've lived together for years and we always wanted kids.

My due date was April Fools Day. And after 8 days of waiting and 2 days of dramatic labor later, our beautiful daughter Ingrid arrived. Her unplanned plan must have been to keep us waiting, as her gender was also a surprise.

One day during the blur of newbornhood, I was rocking Ingrid to sleep and telling her stories. I was telling her the story of “us” – how I married my childhood crush, told her tales of camping and our favorite places. I explained to my tiny, wide-eyed two-month-old how we met and how we got married in Grandma’s backyard and danced under the stars. I threw in a self-deprecating joke as my husband was walking by and without skipping a beat he turned to us and said "She wasn't planned, but she was always part of the plan."
It was so beautiful. So simple. And so true.

I had to start planning for a family of three. To start standing up for my family and accept my unplanned reality. I had to start acting like a Mom.

Now, if anyone does the math - married in October, baby arrived in...April? I let them go ahead and think what they want to think, knowing that any pathetic attempt to explain "our story" isn't worth my time or energy.

We know life is buzzing all around us yet, we attempt to march through on a path we determine as “right.” But in the end, it’s true, she wasn't planned, but she's always been a part of the plan.

I had the honor of reading this piece for the Listen to Your Mother show in Milwaukee on May 5, 2013. What is Listen to Your Mother? A national series of live readings by local readers in celebration of Mother's Day. It's simplistic and wonderful!

How we got to this new, weird, apartment where Harper sleeps on an ottoman.

So, a lot of things have changed since Ingrid's birthday. Short list:

• I got a new job! 
• Our closing date got pushed back.
• Dan and I went to Chicago! 
• We moved out of our little apartment. 
• We moved into a tiny apartment.
• Good news: I'm less stressed about the upcoming Listen to Your Mother show because, it doesn't involve packing tape.  

I won't bore you with the details because they are essentially more embarrassing for me than they are boring. Thankfully, the new job has been wonderful. I don't even care that I'm in this "honeymoon" state where nothing is wrong and I assume everyone is probably a joy to work with. You know when you emerge from the other end of a breakup and start to date again? Only then can you see your ex for what he was. It's a lot like that. I feel like I'll be able to wake up happy (again!) and enjoy productive, positive days. 

I'll get real with you. Right now, I'm totally cool with this temporary situation. 24 hours ago when we didn't have internet, shampoo or a functioning knife - well, that was a different story. Side bar: baby shampoo is amazing for volume. Should you ever be in such a bind. 

The facts of this unplanned situation: our home buying process didn't line up with our lease and we're living in a bizarre furnished apartment. I'm walking on sunshine at my new job but I'm new and not yet comfortable. At home and at work nothing feels settled. Add the Listen to Your Mother event and Dan's graduation and we're just a ball of transition around here. We're eating meals out of the home more that I'd like. Harper hasn't had enough walks hence, this day-before-the-move surprise: 

But here's what's amazing: even if for some reason, this house doesn't work out, we'll be moving into our first house at some point. Dan will be done with school. Ingrid will once again watch Bubble Guppies. I'll eventually feel at home at work and at home. Harper will have a new park and new doors to destroy. 

To wrap up this weird, raw and honest post - here are some recent pictures: 

Happy and squinty.

Bay View Bread.

Happy Second Birthday!

Boom! It's a doll house.

Watching Bubble Guppies. Natch.

"I'm getting notes of...vanilla, awesomeness and sprinkles. For sure, sprinkles."

Whipped-cream hangover.

And now, Chicago.

Hashtag trending: tea.

Delicious, tea.

My first trip to The Bean!

Awkwardly holding it up. I guess.

Looks like we need more tea.

Off to The Aviary and The Girl and The Goat. #pretendingtobefancy

Do we want warm, tea-infused tequila? You bet we do.
#tea 

Hello!

Naturally posing on the ledge while looking at dozens of people waiting in line to do the same thing.

Natural.

We are up high.

Yolk. Eggcellent choice. Man, do I love breakfast.

Nice {bronze} legs.

Thanks for sticking with this one. More to come!