Confessions from a List Maker

Over the weekend I stumbled upon an old journal on the bookshelf. This wasn't really a journal so much as it was a random notebook of to-do lists, recipes, quotes and little project ideas. There were menus for baby showers and bachelorette party ideas.

A hard-copy Pinterest, if you will. 

I read the following to-do list and was embarrassed, annoyed and impressed that in my not-so distant past, this was a snapshot my life. 

On Saturday, March 7 and Sunday, March 8, 2009 (or 2010): 

• Shower (as any good list maker knows, add your must-dos so you have more things to check off) 
• Exfoliate with scrub (oh, a scrub made with coffee grounds and peppermint oil. See, annoying.) 
• Laundry finish (grammar schmammer) 
• Clean - kitchen, bathroom, living, dining, dust and vacuum (highly doubt I honestly cleaned half of that lofty list)
• Whiten teeth 
• Organize Closets - color code. Start donation pile/bags (don't forget about the dresser!)
• Pay bills 
• Tone @ home (like, do push-ups) 
• Do nails 
• Make veggie soup 
• Track food eaten 
• Organize blue room 
• Read & Relax (after that stressful day, I guess I earned it!) 
• Outlets with Serena 
• Tan 
• Workout 

I literally laughed out loud when I read this and though, "Oh fuck off." First, did I really need to "read and relax" after shopping, tanning, working out and whitening my teeth? Annoying. Second, I won't lie - minus the tanning and cleaning, this sounds like a nice little weekend. Third, it's just funny. Funny in a painfully embarrassing way. 

Now, I could go on about how I: 

a). Miss this care-free time in my life. 

b.) Feel blessed for having Ingrid as she gives me more joy than "track food eaten" 

but I've always been a "when in doubt, choose C" kinda gal.

c.) During the course of a few years, shit changed. 

And isn't that OK? 

Today, I read an article about motherhood and change. When "change and motherhood" are linked together, it's typically on the freedoms we "gave up" and the things that are "missed." 

On the path to self-improvement, why do we embrace changes as they relate to careers, marriages and relocation, but when it comes to parenthood we white-knuckle it in a lame attempt to stay true to "who we are."? Why resist the idea of change when it comes to motherhood?

With Ingrid, Dan and I both had our internal spark ignited. It was time to save, explore our passions and figure out what kind of a person we wanted to raise. It was time to get our shit together. 

When you get your shit together, things change. It's not better, it's not worse, it just is. 

Ok, it can be worse, if that change results in wearing mom jeans. 

Awkward and Awesome

Without Mad Men, Sunday nights are back to their annoyingly-awkward self.

Whomp waaaaaaa.

Let's not be a pack of Debbie Downers and even dwell on that sad fact. Or, start down the path of "What do you think about ________ in Mad Men" line of questioning (although, I did love to read her spin on all-things Mad Men and seriously, what do you think of Megan Draper?)


This weekend was full of friendship-love, baby-snuggling, running around and literal running (and swimming, more on that later). Let's start the week off right with some awkward and awesome moments, shall we?

Awesome: 

• Clarisonic - simply an amazing facial scrubber. It's worth every cent! Ok, so I have a knock-off-Groupon version, but honestly, I've used the real deal and it's wonderful. 
• Brunch and Brady Street with Dan. 
• Ingrid's budding sense of humor. 
• Brats, beer and the Brewers.  
• Snuggling with new, two-week-old baby (too cute!) Jackson  
• Proposals - During a morning run, I passed over a chalk scavenger hunt. By reading the clues, it was clear that someone was trying to get their ex-girlfriend back - or it was an elaborate and low-cost marriage proposal. As I reached the top of the hill, and noticed dude in dress pants, I assumed the latter and started on an embarrassingly long line of questioning.
  
  Turns out, he had arranged for his friend to get his girlfriend (now fiance, perhaps! hopefully!) out of bed and videotape her along the way to capture this special moment. I was bursting with excitement for this stranger and creepily wanted to turn around, catch up to her and see the proposal in action.
  
  Ok, that was a long bullet point, thanks for reading. Moving on. 

Awkward 

• Realizing that the majority of the above Awesome list could fall into the Awkward category. 
• Dan agreeing to get hot chocolate. Then spilling what I assume was the best hot chocolate ever all over the carpet. This is maybe the second time I've seen him spill anything, ever. (Awesome: he went out for another hot chocolate and it was awesome). 
• Parking tickets. Three in three weeks. That's a new pair of shoes, City of Milwaukee! Grrrrr. 
• Getting carded. Then spending about three minutes wrestling with my wallet to get my ID out.
• Ordering Dan's Father's Day gift on Father's Day. 
• Forgetting the names of Ingrid's daycare teachers (in my defense, there are roughly four Meghans). 
• Spilling coffee on myself. Then, on my keyboard. And finally, while walking upstairs (probably not the smartest move on my part, to walk up three flights of stairs with a full cup of coffee).

Awkward and Awesome Bonus: 

Ingrid likes watermelon smiles.
I'm not sure if that's a real term or not, but in this kitchen - it's smiles or nothing.
Don't you even think about giving her a watermelon cube. Ingrid turns her nose up at silly ideas like eating watermelon via cube-shape or fork. 

Ingrid has to bring a lunch to daycare. Her old hand-me-down lunch box was huge, dirty and had a 3-foot long strap that always wrapped around other lunch boxes in the daycare refrigerator. This little new lunch sack has become one of Ingrid's favorite things in like, 14 months. Bonus, it totally goes with her outfit in a subtle "not-too-matchy" kinda way.

Father's Day

Cheesy as it may sound, I dig Father's Day. I loved cooking blueberry pancakes and packing little snacks for our big day-trip to the Lakefront Festival of the Arts (see proof of attendance below). 

Dan was drawn to the printmakers. Ingrid was memorized by this: 

And although these faces would lead you to believe otherwise, 

we all had a really good day. 

My hope is that Ingrid absorbs many of Dan's good traits (including sun-squinting, see above). 

I hope she grows up to be patient, kind, and independent. With a great sense of humor.  

Watching Dan play, read and snuggle with Ingrid warms and expands my heart. 

It's such a simple, true and profound love to observe. 

I'm thankful for them both and can't wait to celebrate Dan as Dad for years to come. 

Ingrid's First Birthday

Tonight I was going through old Ingrid photos and they helped to cheer me up.

They helped to cheer me up because earlier this week I lost my grandpa.

I called my grandpa Paga because when I was little, I said Paga before I knew how to say grandpa and it stuck.

I'm sad that he is no longer with us. I'm sad that Ingrid will not have memories of him. But I'm happy that my last time visiting him is full of fond memories. He watched Ingrid walk. He turned his bedside light on and off. That made Ingrid laugh. And when I leaned over to give him a kiss with Ingrid on my hip, Ingrid freaked out and slapped him. That made Paga laugh.

That lasting visual bring a smile to my face and my heart.

In an effort to seek out other things that bring a smile to my heart - I found these photos from Ingrid's first birthday.

After her party, I was disappointed that I didn't snap "enough" photos and was too wrapped up with cooking egg bakes and opening gifts with Ingrid. Why didn't I delegate this task out to a friend?

A few weeks later my mother-in-law sent a disk of photos from that winter, and they were fantastic. But tonight, I looked at them with a fresh perspective and was so happy that we were in the moment. And that moment didn't include a parade of posed pictures.

Although, I wouldn't complain if we had a shot of the three of us on Ingrid's first birthday.

Ingrid ignoring presents and party guests in favor of Sophie. 

Now, there were about 20 people crammed into our little space but these four were the only ones caught on camera.
Imogen assisting Ingrid while Dad and Great Grandma Bev look on.

I don't know who looks more uncomfortable - me, or Ingrid. 

Cupcake for Ingrid.

Cupcakes for us. 

Ingrid and Imogen.

Everyone's doing a great job looking over there.

Ingrid with Great Grandma Bev. 

Don't you just love everything about this last photo? Maybe our kitchen could do without the concert posters circa 2003 and sure, I could have had the wherewithal to get a picture of the family over a plate of cupcakes but, that's what happened.

And two months later, these photos brought a smile to my face after a few days of feeling a little blue.

I wish I had a quote, verse or snappy thought to sum up my day and my thoughts. But all I have is this  - if you're feeling shitty, just look at pictures of a happy day and you'll feel a bit better.

Actually no, now I do remember a quote from Colin Powell from The Daily Show "Everything looks better in the morning." 

Good night friends!

Dinner and Measuring Cups

Last night, I enjoyed a dinner and a movie with husband. Vietnamese and The Avengers. 

A few hours out of the house. A small purse. The ability to hold hands. 

It was wonderful.

Surprisingly, I enjoyed looking forward. As in, literally looking forward. To look at Dan during dinner. To watch the movie during the movie. 

To not twist around the passenger seat to retrieve a fallen toy. To not dig in a diaper bag while keeping an eye on Ingrid's whereabouts. 

Sidebar: Do you think the assistant to Samuel L. Jackson was supposed to look like an anorexic version of Jennifer Connelly? 

Good. 

Me too. 

Today, Ingrid joined me in the kitchen. She was the sous chef. Specialties include creating loud noises and pointing at keys while repeating "KEETHES." 

After throwing a mini-fit about not getting said keys, she settled down with these little measuring bowls.   

You could just hear those little gears turning in her head as she carefully stacked them all.

She then congratulated herself with a round of applause. Natch. 

Later we enjoyed some eats and a few minutes of Frozen Planet. 

Two dates in two days. Not too bad. 

(Isn't her little sock just the best? It's the size of that 1/3 cup for cryin' out-loud!)