Graham Crackers.

Ingrid loves black beans. Ingrid finds graham crackers to be hilarious.

Pasta? That's pretty funny and yummy too. 

I (that would be mom) am also pretty funny. 

One afternoon, Ingrid got a wild hair up her ass and came up with a genius and hilarious idea... 

She shared her graham cracker.

After much hesitation.

And I shared with Harper. 

To recap - graham crackers, pasta, mom, and sharing are funny. 

Black beans are not funny. Black beans are black beans. 

Mad Men.

Like a kid on Christmas morning, I'm twirling around in excitement for the Mad Men premier tonight. I'm secretly hoping that Betty and Don get back together. And that Sally turns into a bra-burnin' hippie.

Yesterday, as I pulled myself out of mid-afternoon funk I searched for fun recipes for tonight. Actually, Ingrid did this modified downward-facing dog move and upside-down waved at Dan and I for about 3 minutes. That will pull you out of a funk.

This isn't a real traditional 60s-Mad-Menny menu, but it's what I'd like to make on a Sunday night. Here's what's on the menu:

Mini Wedge Salads

Giada's Caprese Burgers

And perhaps - Skinnygirl Brownies.

Get out your apron, mix up an Old Fashioned and get excited for more Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce:

Weekend

On Friday, I took a vacation day to be with Ingrid. Since it was raining, we kept our jammies on, read all morning, went to the library, picked up Aunt Kirsten at the train station and then, had lunch at the Public Market.

That afternoon, my sister and I took turns reading Eyes, Noes and Mouth to Ingrid for about three hours (the girl is obsessed). It was one of the best vacation days I've had in a long time. 

That night my sisters and I saw Hunger Game - which lived up to the hype. So good. 

Then, we went to Palms for a dark beer and some deep conversation about recent Target finds. 

Today we went for a walk, baked some banana bread and saw my grandpa at his hospice center. 

I'm thankful we all visited him this afternoon but, during the ride home I cried. Because the thought of loosing your grandparent is sad. And the thought of your dad loosing his dad is sad. And knowing that my daughter won't remember him is sad. The compounding sadness of these thoughts brought me to tears during the car ride home.

Typically, Ingrid does not fall asleep quietly in the car. She looses a pacifier or cries for a bit, but today she just fell asleep and I was thankful because I was able to cry and think without fishing out a pacifier from the depths of her never-ending car seat crevices.   

Somehow, she's still sleeping and I'm thankful for the time to just be with my thoughts and throw myself a brief pity party.

Yesterday was filled with the giggles and quiet moments between Ingrid and I. Today, feels like the opposite.

I'm trying to muster up the energy to make a to-do list, go grocery shopping or at the very minimum, throw in a load of laundry. I'm dragging my feet to just get through this day. 

Big, important thoughts are getting muddled by little annoying ones. I'm thinking about my grandpa while feeling annoyed by the fact that I have to get a new phone.   

Weekends are a time to regroup. A time to clean, cook and organize things and thoughts. Spending time with family and friends. Enjoying a cocktail or three. Time to practice yoga and run. And spend time with Ingrid. 

I've surrendered to this big-thought-little-thought whirlwind I'm in and decided to plan Ingrid's baptism/dedication while thinking about what I'd like to make to celebrate tomorrow's Mad Men episode. 

Eleven

Ingrid is eleven months old. 

She likes to crawl. And put a bird on it.

She likes to help out around the house - and keep her hair out of her face.

She got sick for the first time ever and it was pretty sad.
I stayed home from work one morning to take care of her and she didn't want to move from this spot.
See, it was pretty sad.

For Mother's Day last year, Shutterfly gave me a free photo book gift card, so I used it to make a book about our family.
Ingrid now loves this and refers to everyone as "Da-da."

Not sure if whole apples are appropriate for 11 month olds,
but she loves them and I think they help with her teething pain.

This is her new fake smile.
Stop it, Ingrid. 

This is her real version of her fake smile.

I received one too many "What a cute boy" comments
and decided that barrettes are now pretty cute. 

Ingrid can now sign hungry, drink, and book. She signs book a lot.  

Trouble

Today, I spent the day in Chicago for work. It was a fun day of visits and learning, but a long taxing calorie-filled day.

As the tracks rumble beneath my feet, I’m dreaming about returning to Chicago for a fun family visit. Trips to fun restaurants, museums and shops with Ingrid in tow.

In reality this would involve an insane amount of planning, packing and as the questions about car seats start to pop into my head (“Could we take the train and ideally not pack the car seat? Do we need one in a cab? Yes. Could we just…walk or take the L”) – I can almost see Dan and I exchanging looks that say: Is This More Trouble Than It’s Worth?

Often times the answer is No. For example yesterday, we were literally a mile from the mall and realized that we forgot the stroller. In a decision fueled by pure (unnecessary) panic, we decided to go home, grab the stroller and head back to the mall to get Dan a new pair of shoes. We were caught off guard, but our decision to get the stroller was worth it.

The point? I have finally come to grips with the fact that as she gets older and more mobile, traveling with Ingrid presents new challenges that sometimes beg the question – Is This More Trouble Than It’s Worth?

It’s nice to reflect and remember the days when I could just simply toss Ingrid in an infant car seat and carry on about my day shopping and lunching with friends.

But isn't the past always a bit sparklier in our memories?

Because, ten months ago I was painfully calculating her last feeding, her last nap and taking constant diaper bag inventory. I was nursing, recovering from major surgery and adjusting to life with a baby. I was constantly on edge as to what would happen next.

But here’s what I remember. Leisurely lunches with girlfriends, solo shopping trips (during off-peak hours!) and long walks with Harper with a perfectly silent sleeping baby (see, sparklier in memory!).

Yes, Ingrid grows and changes. And so do my priorities. I have surrendered to the fact that we have a baby and some things we did pre-baby just don't make that much sense anymore. Surrendered and lovingly accepted. When Ingrid was first born, we pretty much did everything we did before I got pregnant - we just had a baby. As she's grown and we've settled into life with her. Friday nights with a movie and pizza are welcomed. I just want to chill out and enjoy our family.

Slowing down and focusing on what matters takes effort but it's totally worth the trouble.

Raindrops on the Kitchen Floor.

Happy Spring.

Well, not for another week or so, but Happy Daylight Savings Time Day. 

This winter has been mild at best, but I'm still longing for more sunshine.

More daytime. More outside.

Spring can be kinda meh. Outside of Easter, spring highlights include Peeps, ham and pastels.

This is the first spring in probably ever that I'm excited.
For Ingrid's first birthday.
And first steps.

Oh how lovely.

Treat yourself to a dose of the bright season by humming along to this happy little tune.  

Oh happy day!

Current State

Tonight, Ingrid was a rock-star. She was crawling back and fourth on the couch, giggling the entire time. She had a bath, then a bottle and was fast asleep within minutes. As husband and I settled in with our takeout Chinese, we let out dramatic sighs. He then declared, "Can't she just stay the same for one second." 


Seriously.

From laying on her back to rolling over to scooting to crawling to pulling herself up. From crying to smiling to babbling to da-da. From hitting herself in the face with her hands, to rapidly waving arms, to pointing to clapping to sort-of signing "all done" - the girl is constantly changing.

It's all common baby knowledge, but it's completely surreal to experience it first-hand.

This constant state of transition is difficult to fully communicate as it's not really "constant." It feels as if the second we, the parents, get a grip on her stage, mood or cues, she's onto the next. One night she's sleeping soundly, the next she's crying-out in pain. Oh yeah, she's probably teething.

It all sounds so cliche, but it's so true, these first ten-and-a-half months have flown by and she'll never be swaddled, fit in a little swing, be toted around in an infant car seat, or laugh at the simple phrase "Ah, bless you." ever again.

While in these transitional times, I want to push her over the fence to the next stage. Then, I'm on the fence knowing that the stage of swaddling, crawling or even growling will someday be over.

Another motherhood-cliche - kids help you live in the moment. Babies need you to be in the moment. When she's tired she sleeps, when she's hungry she eats and when she's playful she play. The emotions are honest, raw and real. Tears break your heart - even if they are the cause of a seven inch fall. Smiles will melt your heart even faster - especially if they are because you put a book on your head (hilarious). 


Pre-kids, I didn't like when people talked about their kids being "teachers." My gut always told me they gave their kids too much credit and needed to remove the blinders because - how could kids be that wise?

No matter the transitional state, Ingrid has kindly-demanded that we be in the moment, be present and be mindful of what's going on. As much as I want her to remain the same, or move onto the next developmental stage - she's a solid reminder to be mindful and present in the moment. And then, just as I start to see her as a little Buddha, she shoves a puppet in her mouth and I'm happily reminded that she's still little tiny baby Ingrid.